We did and redid paperwork often during these first three and a half years. You see paperwork is only good for 2 years when submitted and in the process of collecting all of our documents to submit our dossier we had things with scattered dates of 6 months for the first time we submitted. When we needed to update we did it all again to have everything dated much closer together so it was easier to keep track of.
In June2014 during our prayer time before church one Sunday a sister in our church family had a word for us but she fought the Lord to not have to tell us. Angie noticed she was crying but assumed the Lord was just talking to her and didn’t ask any questions. This sister and Angie usually text when they talk rather than a phone call. The sister told God that if Angie called that she would tell her. That next week Angie called her with a question about something. When they were finished with Angie’s question she told her she had something she needed to share with her but she didn’t want to. Angie told her that if the Lord was asking her to she needed to and that she was sitting down. She asked if Angie had seen that she was crying during prayer the previous Sunday. Angie said yes. She said Angie the Lord told me to tell you and Darvin that you do have a daughter from Ethiopia but you will not hold her on this side of heaven. We cried together and I told her, “Thank you for being obedient to the Lord. “ You see the week before during Angie’s devotions she opened her eyes and they went straight to this picture
 |
| This is the picture a friend drew for Angie of what she pictured in her mind as we waited on our Ethiopian daughter |
and her question was,” Lord will we hold her on this side of heaven or has she gone home to heaven already and that is why this door is closing?” Do you want us to wait or continue on? If you are asking us to pull out that will really make it feel like she has died. Are you asking us to simply keep supporting those that have already brought their children home? We are willing to do that and will wait to see if you open any other doors. Another entry the next day in Angie’s journal reads, “Lord please reveal to us what your desire is for us and the adoption. Make it clear. I feel I know what in my head but I need you to get it in my heart because if it is what my head is saying my heart is going to be crushed. I have not physically loved this little one but for 3+ years I have mentally loved her and it feels like she is sick and dying right in front of us. Lord we are tired but we choose to push in because we want to know without a shadow of a doubt what you want. Because if it is your will for us to continue and we don’t we will be missing out on a very BIG BLESSING.
We want to take the next step in Faith trying to believe that you will reveal to us what the next step is. I want to ask and yet am scared to ask that you give someone a word for us to make this step clear and then we will move. How do you let go of something you have believed for so long? She was my little girl that I was going to show love and introduce to your love Lord and hold and care for in a way that she didn’t have the privilege of knowing in her home with her family who couldn’t give it to her due to her medical needs or the government situation. I simply wanted a chance to love her. Why so long if you weren’t going to bring her home? Why all the waiting and heartache, loss of time? The word from this dear sister that she knew would break our hearts was the confirmation we were looking for to pull our paperwork from Ethiopia. This had now been 3+ years since we had started our process. We were heartbroken for the loss of our daughter and then on top of that satan tried really, really hard to make us think about all of the lost finances. This made us feel guilty and as if we had let all of our family and friends down and had thrown their financial gifts away that they had blessed us with. We both felt we needed to just take some time and mourn the loss of our daughter and allow our hearts to heal. This was April 2015.
We had been gifted a weekend to an adoption Conference in March 2015 which was 6 months from when we decided to take a break in our process. During those six months we didn’t do anything adoption related other than continue to give respite care to the families that we love that had brought their little ones home. Angie continued with LEFC’s adoption support group but there literally was no talk about our adoption between the two of us. At the conference the speaker highly encouraged all of us that were looking for breakthrough and answers in our adoption journey to press in for a month. Spending time with the Lord, in His word, prayer and fasting. Whatever we felt we needed to do. So when we came home we decided we were going to do this for the month of April 2015. We prayed, fasted, spent time in the word and did not talk to each other. At the end of the month we came together and I asked Darvin what he was feeling? You see I had him go first because I wanted to really know what he was thinking and not that he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear. I was expecting him to say we are finished with our adoption. You can continue with the support group and we will continue respite for others that have adopted but we are finished. To my surprise he said,” we are to move our paperwork to China and pursue special needs.” I think it took me about 20 seconds to say anything because this was exactly what I was feeling. We had just walked along side some close friends that adopted their daughter from China also and she had some pretty significant special needs to the point of 5 surgeries in the first two years she was home. By walking beside them the Lord confirmed we can do this. So in May 2015 we moved to the China, special needs program with our agency. We had decided that we were not interested in an infant any more but more like 18-24 months. Our agency encouraged us to keep the broader age range for a better chance at a referral. Some of the special needs we are open to were cleft lip/palette, club foot, tethered cord, added or missing digits, (fingers or toes) simple/minor heart conditions and premature birth. All of which are operable. Sept. 16 2015 we had the privilege to go hear Bethel Music. They sang their song, “No Longer Slaves.” This was the first time we had heard the song and when they got to the chorus, “you split the sea so we can walk right through it” Angie saw the word adoption flash in her mind. After that night we started singing and declaring no fear and the splitting of seas over our adoption. When we went to church that we Angie asked the worship leader if we could do that song for worship sometime. A few weeks later we sang it for the first time here at church.
Oct. 25, 2015 while we were waiting for our paperwork to be sent to China Angie wrote this in her journal, “Lord you asked me to rest so that is what I am choosing to do. Not that it is easy seeing all the little ones on facebook but I know you have the perfect child for our family so I will choose to wait. I do feel urgency to have everything in order early in the coming year. I’m assuming this is coming from you. Please show me you have the financial piece in order for this urgency also.
Nov. 8, 2015 we received another email from a sister in our church family. She expressed that they had sang No Longer Slaves during worship that past Sunday and when they came to the chorus, BANG, our adoption came to her mind. She looked for us to tell us and we weren’t here that Sunday so she thought maybe she was just thinking it up. As she was singing the song the next week, BANG, the same thing came to her mind. So she emailed us to give us the word. She felt God wanted her to let us know that wants us to sing this song, the entire thing, as a declaration. Especially Angie. He wants you to know you don’t need to have any fear because He IS splitting the sea for our adoption to go through. He wants you to claim it and declare it.
Our paperwork was logged into China on Nov. 6, 2015 so we were now considered LID ,logged in dossier.
Nov. 17, 2015 we had a conference call with our local and international social workers to discuss the special needs we were open to. During the conversation we asked how soon they felt we could be matched and they said 9 months.
Our prayer all along has been that the Lord would make it clear as clear can be who our daughter will be. Angie was praying for a date, name something to designate in her file. She was really hoping for a match by Christmas or her birthday in January.
Dec. 14, 2015 Angie wrote in her journal, “Help me to continue not to fear or be anxious with the adoption. Lord I see all the referrals and travel dates and I just keep thinking when is it going to be our turn?You split the sea so I could walk right through it,
My fears were drowned in perfect love,
You rescued me so I can stand and sing,
I am a child of God!
Here is the link for No Longer Slaves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8TkUMJtK5k
No comments:
Post a Comment